Ever

My bag is packed, she says in her mind, but I can hear her loud and clear.
The most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid my turquoise eyes on since I was a cub.

‘I love you and I don’t want you to leave, but you just have to.’ I say to her in my mind.

She packs her hair into a bun and ties it round with a black scarf—I love black. I love her —but she can’t hear me. I wish she could feel the rhythm of my heartbeats, the way I can feel hers right now.

Boom.. Boom boom..
Boom.. Boom Boom…

It goes and I love the sound of it.
Each time we cuddle during the cold rainy nights, her heart beats just once every five minutes. She used to feel safe with me. I was once her angel’s wings.

“I’m ready to leave now.” She finally says to me. “My bag is packed.”

I look at her and I can see the tears in her eyes. I wish I could hug her and tell her that everything will be alright. Lies. Because things just got worse and she can never be safe with me. Ever.

Mirabelle Morah