I just want someone to hug, and I’m wondering if it’s too much to ask for.
I’m not sure I can ever remember a time in my life when I woke up sad every morning and turned in even sadder, every night.
This is the first time I’ve chosen to be honest with myself or anyone. To tell the truth and to not run away, only to come back more scared. And so, I opened up my heart and let him in. I can’t remember doing such a thing until he came. I’ve always enjoyed the bliss that comes with solitude but now, I don’t think I want to enjoy that bliss any longer. I just want someone to hug, and I’m wondering if it’s too much to ask for.
My parents believe in God. I used to, maybe I still do. I’m not sure, so I’ve prayed to whosoever is listening to send me a sign. To tell me if we’re truly meant to be together, or not.
Last week, he told me the two of us couldn’t be together anymore. I had felt greatly embarrassed and broken. It was my first time telling any guy that I loved him, so I felt broken and I still do.
Now my phone is ringing and I don’t know who it is. I don’t feel like picking it up. It rings again and so I answer.
“Uhm, hey Lisa, I’m… I’m at your door…”
My heart freezes. I know that voice, I’d recognize it anywhere in the universe, even in the coldest desert. I’m skeptical about what to do. Do I change my clothes? Pretend I’m not home? Spritz my house quickly with the liquid apple air freshener I’d just bought off the discount store? I’m unsure, so I finally decide.
I move gingerly across the wooden floor. It doesn’t creak this time around, I know I’ve lost a lot of weight.
I unlock the front door, open it, and there he is, standing right outside my door in his usual jeans and T-shirt. He looks like he would burst out any moment. Sure enough, he bursts into tears and runs straight into my arms. I can feel his warm tears on my neck. I draw him closer to myself, in a bear hug. My own tears trickle down my cheeks too.
Then he whispers,
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry and I love you too… ”
I’m unsure what to do, it feels unreal. I stand there, crying helplessly too with him in my arms. I want to be strong for him, to tell him that I love him too but I only seem to cry out more.
Now the neighbors are passing by, staring at us weirdly but I don’t mind. All I care is that I’ve got my love, I’ve got him in my arms now, just like I’ve wanted these past days.
By Mirabelle Morah
About the author
Mirabelle is yours truly. Your beloved storyteller and teller of the stories and poems of others.
