You see, I think I have a weakness in my life. This weakness weakens me a lot. It’s not sex and it isn’t food. It’s not even parties (oh c’mon! Having one day of peaceful rest and sleep at home is party enough for me). This weakness is about volunteering to do something I know I can do. Like to teach people about something, or just hanging around a youth program or initiative. I always want to help out any way I can in these events and this got me into lots of trouble at the university.
I didn’t finish my first degree. I studied Educational Management for half a year and dropped out.
Oh yeah, I got admission into English & Literary Studies so I left that first course. I would’ve finished my one year, but I was busy serving as a publicity & publications leader at a youth organization. We used to do so much then, like outreaches, traveling from state to state, holding conferences. It took all my time and my parents must’ve thought I was still going to school. I was also an ardent conference goer. I was Sixteen then.
Anyway, my (second) first year again, this time in English & Literary Studies, I was still serving as a leader & it took so much of my time. I missed so many lectures. Then one time, a lecturer of mine called me into her office and sternly warned me, that I was going to fail her course so badly if I didn’t stop missing lectures. She even asked if I knew the lecturer who was sitting next to her, in all my shame and embarrassment, being just a few weeks to exam and having never attended his lectures even for one day (or maybe I did), I said yes, I knew him (I knew he was a lecturer anyway). She then asked what course he taught and only there and then was I stuck, trying so hard to remember the name of his course. I had it bad like that.
Oh and anyway, I’m not such a terrible student at all. As a matter of fact my grades are really good (even to my shock) for someone who is usually involved in community service, and I can only ascribe this to God’s grace.
Over the years I’ve had to quit being part of different initiatives and organizations. You see, I wanted to always help out or just improve myself, but I always ended up being burned out. So tired and usually feeling so mentally stressed and frustrated. But the older I grew, the more I realized I couldn’t be everywhere for everyone.
And you know what the hard part usually was?
Whenever I told them I wanted to quit, they would make me feel terrible as though I was doing such a bad thing! Anyway, I had to just leave.
Well, it’s really amazing helping out in capacities which I believe I can and I enjoy doing so. Maybe it isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. Now, what’s yours?
By Mirabelle Morah
I am proud to see how self aware you are, and how you have grown into an achiever. You always have my best wishes, Mirabelle.